Raiders vs. Seahawks: 4 Winners , 4 Losers

  •  Tonight the Cheap Jordy Nelson Jersey Raiders prevailed over the Seattle Seahawks, 30-19 at CenturyLink Field. It’s the last time we’ll see the team in action until their Monday Night Football matchup against the Los Angeles Rams. Tonight being the fourth preseason game, what players clothed themselves with honor and which ones embarrassed their ancestors?WINNERS1) Keon HatcherAs an undrafted player out of Arkansas a few years ago, Hatcher hasn’t done much in a Raider uniform. He hasn’t had much opportunity to get playing time. But tonight he was in the role of the #1 receiver, and he shined.Hatcher caught eight passes for 128 yards and a whopping three touchdowns, two from EJ Manuel and one from Connor Cook. He displayed terrific hands, quickness to go with his big body, and a knack for the big play. Those are all things you look for when evaluating receivers. Hatcher may or may not make the Raiders team, but he will land somewhere, and this performance may just have made guys like Seth Roberts and Johnny Holton expendable.2) EJ ManuelMuch of the talk for the last few weeks has been how putrid the play of the Raiders’ backup QBs has been. Manuel and Connor Cook have both had issues with accuracy and ball security. But tonight, EJ Manuel went full HAM, going 18/22 for 255 yards and three touchdowns. Connor Cook got about a quarter of action and was fine, but Manuel’s performance was electric and he may have put the backup QB competition to bed.3) Austin DavisRams Legend Austin Davis apparently plays for the Seahawks now, but the Seahawks yesterday traded for Brett Hundley from the Packers. After watching this game, I’m wondering why they would have done such a thing. Davis was elusive in the pocket, decisive, and had a rocket arm. He torched the Raiders for 190 yards in the first half, going 13/20 and a gorgeous touchdown pass. He will be on someone’s roster this year.4) Fadol BrownIf there’s one guy in my mind on the Raiders defense who has exceeded expectations this year, it’s Fadol Brown. He’s been an absolute beast all preseason and had two tackles and a pass breakup in this game. That one was way downfield. What was Brown doing there, you question? The answer is, his best.Brown is a good bet to make the roster at this point, and he’s shown remarkable improvement and deserves it.LOSERS1) Pharaoh BrownBrown caught two passes for 27 yards on two targets including a nifty 22-yard scamper to the sideline, But he also was called for holding AGAIN. You can tolerate holding penalties from star tackles, but from third-string pass-catching tight ends? No, that will not be tolerated.2) Kyle WilberThe defensive back didn’t have a terrible game, recording six tackles. But he also dropped a potential interception and was called for a pass interference penalty. When you’re on the roster bubble, fighting for a spot, that’s the sorts of things you cannot do.3) Sebastian JanikowskiSurely, the longtime Raiders kicker wanted to show his old team that he still has what it takes to play in the NFL. But he didn’t get much opportunity with the Seahawks going for it on fourth down constantly. He kicked three extra point tries, and missed two of them. Yeah, that’ll show ‘em, Jano. Mike Nugent, on the other hand, was perfect from the field and 3/4 on extra points.4) Pete CarrollIt’s all come crashing down for Pete. Again. Once he was on top of the world at USC, winning national titles and basking in adulation and the love of the Song Girls. And then it turned out someone had given Reggie Bush’s mom a free house, and USC was given the smackdown from the usually toothless and incompetent NCAA. By the time those sanctions hit, Carroll was long gone, abandoning his recruits and forcing them to deal with his mess.He escaped to Seattle, where he has the adulation of thousands of liberal arts major Starbucks baristas with $40 Cheap Derek Carrier Jersey ,000 in student loan debt. He built a powerhouse team led by its defense, but those players are all gone now. He doesn’t have an offensive line. He doesn’t have a running game. His team just gave a mega-extension to a wide receiver who will probably go undrafted in your fantasy league. Seattle is posed to go 5-11 this year, and once that domino falls, the whole house of cards will come tumbling down. Checkmate.And Pete will skip town again. But where to this time? My guess is, Ohio State. And we can all keep rooting against him until he abandons them too.Raiderdamus’ Friday Foretelling: Raiders vs. Chargers We are required to inform you that these Foretellings are works of satire and are not for the faint of heart. Due to their content they should not be read by anyone. Please enjoy at your own risk. -The EditorGreetings, Raider Nation! It is I, your host with the most, from pillar to post with roasts going coast to coast, Raiderdamus the Great and Powerful. I come to you today pleased that the Raiders are coming off a huge victory, and hopefully they are poised for another in their home away from home in Los Angeles.But will they get it? With that question in mind, I’ve once again summoned the Great Beyond to share with us the fate of the Raiders against the Chargers on Sunday. Hear his words, o mortals, and despair:“You’re back again! The Raiders pulled one out of their hats on Sunday, or rather the referees did. The Raiders have been on the losing end of so many refball games in their history, they were due to win one. Who you got this week? The Chargers? Wait, they still exist? You’re sure? Well okay. Let me start this with a story.WWE legend The Undertaker wrestled his first Wrestlemania match on March 24, 1991 during Wrestlemania VII. He defeated Jimmy ‘Superfly’ Snuka in a little over four minutes. Every year thereafter, Undertaker would walk into Wrestlemania and walk out the victor. From King Kong Bundy to Sycho Sid to Kane, Shawn Michaels, Edge and Triple H, it didn’t matter. The Undertaker beat them all at Wrestlemania, a huge accomplishment for a man whose first name is “The”. Undertaker was 21-0 at Wrestlemania.Then came Wrestlemania XXX. Undertaker faced the Beast Incarnate, former UFC Heavyweight Champion Brock Lesnar, and he lost. The streak was over. Lesnar became the 1 in 21-1. Fans reacted thusly:On January 13, 2016, Hue Jackson was hired as the head coach of the Cleveland Browns. He lost, and lost, and lost again. Steelers, Ravens, Bengals, Eagles, Dolphins, it didn’t matter. Hue and the Browns lost to them all. Hue was 0-14 going into their Christmas Eve game against the Chargers, which ended like this:The Chargers lost on a last-second missed field goal, and the reaction from Browns and Chargers fans alike was thus:The following season, Jackson and the Browns went 0-16. Jackson’s record was 1-31, and the Chargers were that 1. To this very day, the Chargers are one of two teams Jackson has defeated as Browns head coach.In a way, being a Browns fan is better than being a Chargers fan. At least with the Browns Bruce Irvin Jersey , you know what you’re getting yourself into. They call their stadium the Factory of Sadness for a reason. But with the Chargers, they always look good on paper and then they suck in real life. They get their fans’ hopes up every year only to heartlessly dash them, like parents who tell their kids Santa will bring them a puppy for Christmas, only to tell the kids on Christmas Eve that Santa isn’t real and neither is that farm upstate they supposedly send Ol’ Duke to last spring.Here is an abridged list of the careers wasted by the Chargers organization without a single Super Bowl ring to show for it:Lance AlworthDan FoutsSid GillmanCharlie JoinerRon MixKellen Winslow Sr.Junior SeauLaDainian TomlinsonLorenzo NealMichael TurnerAntonio GatesPhilip RiversThe list goes on basically forever. The one time they did make it to the Super Bowl, they got there with Captain Concussion, Stan Humphries, a man who by that point couldn’t spell his own name if you showed him an industrial wrench. They played the 1994 49ers, who could have won that game had George Siefert been replaced with a slightly sentient jar of mayonnaise.In a league whose list of owners includes Daniel Snyder, a man who literally pimps out his team’s cheerleaders, Jerry Jones, who has snorted cocaine off the ass of every hooker in the Metroplex, Mike Brown, who pays his players with coal he converts into diamonds by holding them in his ass cheeks for five minutes, and the entire population of Green Bay, Wisconsin, who have turned diabetes into performance art, Dean Spanos might actually be the worst owner in the NFL. That’s really something special. It’s no shocker that San Diego didn’t want to pay for a new stadium for Spanos’ team. Spanos looks like a character actor who plays nothing but shitty, sleazy divorce lawyers on TV dramas.Photo by Sean M. Haffey/Getty ImagesAlso, Spanos is Greek, which means he’s great at losing other people’s money and then asking for more.After all this, you may ask yourself, why do the Chargers still have fans? Well, Spanos decided to chase more of other people’s money and move to Los Angeles, and it turns out they actually don’t have fans anymore, because the Chargers don’t deserve them.For the time being, the Chargers play at the Stubhub Center, which is about half as big as your average high school football stadium in Texas. The best football player who plays at Stubhub Center is Zlatan Ibrahimovic.Photo by Katharine Lotze/Getty ImagesFor a team that shares its stadium with a soccer team, you’d think the Chargers might pay more attention to kicking. Of course, they don’t, because they are the Chargers. Their last few kickers include Yunghoe Koo, Roberto Aguayo (yes, really) and Caleb Sturgis. Let’s look at how that went!I’d love to continue this, but talking about the Chargers has made me tear my ACL and put me on the shelf indefinitely. My backup, the Lesser Beyond, will come in and sound great roasting the Colts and Niners but will disappear against the Chiefs and Ravens.The Raiders game on Sunday should go something like this:Raiders win, 31-27.”